Breaking up is hard to do.

Every so often, I realize that my email inbox is filling up with more newsletters and sales offers than it is genuine MAIL.  So for the next few weeks, instead of just deleting those irritating epistles, I go to the bottom of the message where there is usually a “click here to unsubscribe” button.  In less than 30 seconds (10 if my internet is really feeling spicy that day) that job is done and there is one less piece of trash for me to look at.

This job usually ends up happening after Christmas, since my online gift shopping lands me on a lot of lists.

With the inbox tackled and somewhat cleaned out (I’m still trying to figure out how to get off the Yahoo support group for encopresis) my new goal is to reduce the number of catalogs that come into the house.  Aaron asks if it’s worth the effort, and I said, “What effort?!”  It literally takes about a minute to call the 1-800 number on the back of the catalog, ask the employee if I can be removed from their mailing list (I almost always have a real person answer the phone, btw – no holding!) and then read of the customer number from the catalog.  Done and DONE.  Consider it a minuscule effort towards saving the earth. 

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Here’s some that I’ve had to part ways with:

Williams-Sonoma?  Let’s face it.  Your filled pancakes look delicious, but I am probably NEVER going to make them, even with your delightful pans.  Anything I’ve ever purchased from you I’ve bought online or in a real store, not from the catalog.  Let’s face it – it’s over.

Crate and Barrel?  You have no delicious pancakes on your pages, but what you do have is miles of beautiful rooms, all waiting for Adam to finger paint with a banana or the gigantic chocolate candy Aaron gave him at lunch today.  My bedroom is furnished and I have plenty of tablecloths.  Outdoor furniture at our house needs to be considered potentially disposable – no designer fabrics and cushions!  Adios, amigo.

Lands End?  I love your sales, and Leah loves your knit dresses – but do I REALLY need to get several mini-catalogs a month? Womens’, mens’, kids’, swim, home, clearance…it’s YOU, not me.  You’ve been put on notice.

Pottery Barn?  Have I EVER bought anything from you?  Anywhere?  How did I get ON this list in the first place?  It almost makes me physically nauseated to think that anyone would spend $60 on a  set of kids’ sheets.  Do they knowthat they’ll probably get puked on at some point?!  Sayonara.

L.L.Bean?  How much hiking do you think I do?  Lands End has all my needs in the “basic and sturdy” department covered.  Here’s the door.

Even the man-catalogs are biting the dust.  Cabela’s and Crutchfield are gone, although I am giving Sportsmans’ Guide a pass for now. 

But totally random catalog ULINE?  You don’t even care enough to have our name in your records AND your catalog seriously weighs at least a pound. gone, Gone, GONE!

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Do you get a catalog or magazine that should be on a similar list?  Have you taken action yet?

Is there another way I can eliminate more junk mail?  We already get most of our bills online.  Is there a magical way to only get subscription reminders when yours is actually running out? (I almost just re-subscribed for a parenting magazine that doesn’t expire until Sept 2012!)

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About Lyz

Wife of Aaron and mom of Leah (10) and Ben (8), and Adam (5). Licensed English teacher homeschooling for the third year. Christ is my savior. A fan of pop culture, especially movies and music (although my taste in novels leans more toward the classics.) If you are laughing, I can't stop talking. And if you give me a microphone, I'll probably say something borderline inappropriate.

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